Balancing Career and Family

Considering that if feels like yesterday when our children were born, it is hard to believe that there is a second grandchild on the way.  The absolute joy of watching our daughter in her adult parenthood role is quite satisfying.   Our concerns for them in this economy is that they will have the ongoing resources for adequate childcare, schooling and enough time off to experience all the joys of parenthood.

So, that is were we come in.  After years of working excessive hours as a nurse midwife I have decided to step away from my career to care for family.  Although, my work fiercely competed with my family for  the past 27 years, it is my family that won in this tug of war and I feel the joy of their victory.

Raising women to understand the balance between family and career is difficult and an ongoing challenge. There were so many times that a young mother would enter my office completely exhausted and in tears as her job demanded she return to work following her 6 week post partum visit.  With daycare arrangements unsettled and breastfeeding finally playing into a perfect rhythm, the household would now be disheveled with chaos and exhaustion.  So what advise could I possibly give them.

First of all, I do understand that women deserve to have their careers.  It helps to have supportive friends and family to assist in the transition back to work.  Anyone who has had a baby knows that hidden within all the joy parenthood is the fatigue and reorganization of a lifestyle.  I applaud grandparents who can and do commit to assist the working families as mother returns to the workplace.  The efforts to assist this family get on their feet with a new daily schedule is a gift that will keep giving back.  I cannot easily comprehend the attitude of not wanting to help simply because one has already raised their own family.
Any grandparent with good health and living locally who declines to help out even on rarest occasion is probably too burnt out from raising their own children or doesn't have the compassion needed for such an important job.  Daycare is not the answer for everyone, but, when properly selected it can be a perfect match.

So now I, with a drastic reduction in income, and not yet able to collect social security or my retirement funds, will balance my days between my parents and grandson, to support those people who have always supported me.  With the good fortune of my husbands great health and satisfying career as a firefighter, I am afforded this luxury.  We will enjoy the life we now have without greedily seeking the excesses we do not need.  Looking back at all the daycare my mother provided my children, all the crazy schedules my children endured, and all the nights may husband and I have spent at our places of work, it is time for the daughter, the mother, wife and the grandmother in me to take a step away from my very successful career, to give my family what they will benefit so greatly from.

Perhaps I will one day return to practicing with a lighter schedule to continue my career, perhaps not, but by attempting to meet the needs of my family I know I am fulfilling my desire to round out my life's work.  Living a happy and satisfying life is essential for me.

The key to balancing career and family is doing what works for your family unit.  If it doesn't feel right, step back and reassess.  Work with your partner to create a budget.  Decide how best to enjoy your short time on earth while raising a happy, healthy and productive family.

Good Luck!